Introduction letter
Dear Professor Blackstone,
My name is Yong Zheng Hao, I am writing this letter to introduce
myself to you. I graduated with a diploma in Aeronautical Engineering from
Singapore Polytechnic in 2019. I am currently a first-year robotics system engineering
student in Singapore Institute of Technology.
My interest in robotics system mainly comes from my hobby, which
is building model kits. I have been building model kits since I was a kid thus
having an interest in robots for quite some time. The reason why I wanted to
continue engineering after polytechnic was because of the various modules I enjoyed
from the course. Modules such as engineering math's and physics. Putting
together my hobby and the general engineering modules I enjoy, choosing robotics
system engineering was an easy choice for me.
One weakness I have in communication is that I feel very uncomfortable
and nervous when having to present to a group of people. For example, I will forget
all the preparation I did when it was my turn to present.
For my strength, l feel that I can listen and empathize with
others while providing necessary feedback and encouragement.
In conclusion I hope by the end of this module, I will be
able to feel more comfortable and less nervous when having to present to a
group of people so that I can share what I have prepared clearly to the
audience.
Thank you for taking the time to read my letter
Yours sincerely,
Zheng Hao
Hi Zheng Hao, I am glad to read about how you started building model kits since young. Great to see you are very straight up with your details in each paragraph. However, I would like to point out that you may be able to lessen down your sentences in each paragraph by linking it together. Take care!
ReplyDeleteHi Zheng Hao,
ReplyDeleteI am happy to be able to find out more about you. Similar to you, I also enjoy doing mathematics and physics. Although I do find that your self-introduction in general is quite good, but I did notice that you did not spell out the word 'mathematics' in your letter. I think that it would be better to spell the word out, since this is a formal letter, so that it will seem more professional.
Best wishes,
Xin Yi
Hello Zheng Hao,
ReplyDeleteHello fellow aerospace diploma holder. I like how you you really talk about yourself so concisely and straight to the point. There are a number of interest that we have in common.
As for criticism, you ended of with your letter twice.
Regards.
ReplyDeleteDear Zheng Hao,
It’s a pleasure to read this clear, concise letter. Thank you for sharing.
I’m happy to learn, for example, how you developed an interest in models. What sort did you typically build? Can you be more specific?
You have also explained your strengths and weaknesses in communication and your goals. I can say for certain you will have a chance towork on presenting this term.
A few language issues include the following:
1. punctuation
-- My name is Yong Zheng Hao, I am writing this letter to introduce myself to you. > comma splice?
-- Thank you for taking the time to read my letter > ?
2. fragment
-- Modules such as engineering math's and physics.
3. word form
-- -- engineering math's > ?
Let's work on these issues together.
Best wishes,
Brad